When I was looking through the chapter menu and the choices that we had for reading, chapter 12 caught my eye: You Only Have So Much Time. I was hesitant to immediately skip to the end of the book and read the last chapter but I remembered what Miss Josey said during one of our last professional developments: that she always read the last chapter before she got invested in the story because she wanted to know if she would like how the book ended before she spent the time reading the whole story...so I went for it and turned to chapter 12 of Reading Essentials.
In the first paragraph I thought...yep Regie is talking about me, I'm exhausted, I'm tired, and there never seems to be enough time to do it all and MORE keeps getting added. There are more assessments, more standards, and there are always new students and programs to perform. Not to mention my husband and personal life....wait....what personal life? I feel totally consumed by my career, don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job, I love my students, and I love the difference I make at WHES, and I love to teach. But there are so many pressures put on teachers every day, from the district, the state, the parents, and from our biggest critics: ourselves.
I want to grow as a teacher, I know that there is so much I can learn from other teachers out there who have had many more years of experience than I have, who are more creative than I am, or who are braver and want to experiment with more out of the box ways of teaching than I could ever be brave enough try without a nudge in the right direction. However I am crippled at times with the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy when I am getting to teach for less than 3 hours of the day because of all of the extra lessons - guidance, library, computer lab, lunch, recess, a fireman visit, and all the while having to find something for the other 19 students to do while my assistant and I are pulling kids 1-1 to assess them for the upcoming report cards.
You Only Have So Much Time....yes I know! At the risk of sounding crass I don't need this book to tell me that I am tired, that I should take time to live an interesting life outside of school, plan well, keep work meaningful and simple, to make every minute count, and so on and so forth with the other headings in this chapter. As I continued reading this chapter I could feel the teacher in me - back aching after bending over to reach the little ones, tired since I didn't leave school till around 5:30, head pounding because I listened to my husband talk about the struggles he faced at work and how he is struggling with the politics of education, feet throbbing because I wore flats rather than supportive shoes, stomach growling because I ate lunch at 10:30 - dragging out my soap box ready to defend the job I pour so many of my waking thoughts into...then I thought...teacher to teacher, she isn't working against me, she is trying to help me. So I found myself doing what I often do, shove that soap box back under my ego and continued reading with a different perspective. I started recognizing the tips and tricks that she was suggesting and thought about how I could use them in my classroom to make even the smallest moments count as educational. No, I didn't agree with everything I read and there are some things I don't want to change and wouldn't want to be changed for me, but appreciate the fresh ideas she brought to the table.
I believe reading the end of the book has been beneficial for me because without reading the ending to be sure I would like how it ended I am not sure I could go back and continue reading with an open mind. That being said, the last paragraph was my favorite...I won't spoil it for anyone, but I will join Regie Routman and Jim Popham in saying this: Amen.
Kelly, it is obvious you gave this chapter a lot of thought and have been doing evaluating your classroom, your life as a teacher, and your life outside of teaching quite a bit. I wish I could tell you that it is because you are a new teacher, but I can't. As women, and as educators, finding the balance IS a constant struggle. I also wish I could tell you that all the programs and paper work are going to go away and you are going to have all the time in the world to do what you want . . . TEACH and LOVE on kids! But, I can't tell you that either. In the end, if feels like everything is labeled "important." We just have to decide what is most important for that day . . . for that moment . . . and do it. You will sleep better that way. As for the rest . . . LET IT GO LET IT GO. :)
ReplyDeleteWe are indeed our toughest critics. It's exhausting, but it also keeps us going. Did you get any new ideas from this chapter that you'd like to try?
ReplyDeleteSomething I did try after reading this chapter that I found enlightening was the before and after reading schedule. I genuinely always try to make improvements to my schedule each year, and this is one that I thought was very beneficial. I always start with a read aloud, then proceed to a lesson. After reviewing my before and after reading schedule I did find time to trim away so I would have time for my students to enjoy independent reading.
ReplyDeleteI also liked the mystery word activities she talked about!! :)